The gift of friendships
and the blessings they provide...
"Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life." - Amy Poehler
I’ve been doing more reflecting lately. It could be because this month will have days of both celebration and sadness within it. There will be the celebration of our son’s high school graduation and all of the events leading up to it. It will also be my first Mother’s day without my mother and, at the end of the month, the anniversary date of her passing. Much to think about, much to anticipate, much to reflect upon…and yet much to be grateful for…
I wanted to dedicate this particular newsletter to the people who are not biologically connected to me and yet are a part of my family - my friends…
There have been many people I have been lucky enough to meet throughout my life - from childhood, adolescence, my college days, the many places I have worked…friends I have met through other friends…those I have met along my health journey…those I have met throughout my son’s life…so many people…so many unique stories, and so many blessings.
My Christmas card list has fluctuated throughout the years and as family and friends depart this world, I still keep their names and addresses on my list. Crossing off their names seems to add to the sadness. Instead I like to draw a little heart by their names. I also like to keep cards and letters too…several of them - They are a great reminder of my many past “lives” and the people that have shared my journey with me along the way.
And then there is my close circle of trusted friends - my “besties”. These are the people I can call in an emergency. People who I can share my deepest thoughts with. People who celebrate my successes and lift me up during my failures. The people who will love me unconditionally, no matter what I am going through and, quite honestly, I have been through a great deal.
One quote I love is “a friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.” Yes…so true…
The picture I am sharing this week has a fun story behind it. It is of one of my besties, Dianna, who I share a birthday with and who also worked with me (her guidance counselor office was within my school library). The running joke was that I wore blue latex gloves when I taught - partly because it helped protect me from the many germs I would encounter on a daily basis while helping check out books and teaching technology in an elementary school library. The other reason was that I had (and still have) an intense fear of aggravating my autoimmune illnesses (yes..plural).
My students and the staff of the school became used to my gloves and the gloves became just an extension of me. Mrs. D and her blue gloves. Every so often a new student would enroll and I would get “the look” and the question, “What’s with the gloves?” I would explain simply that they helped keep me healthy and it was funny how often the students would reply, “Actually…that makes sense!”
In life we encounter so many people who have their own “blue gloves”. It may be something easily seen on the outside…or maybe their gloves are found deep within themselves.
Whatever the case may be, having friends who accept and love us for who we are is a wonderful gift. The past few years have made this even more apparent to me.
I hope you reach out and reconnect with the friends in your life. They are a wonderful gift to you…as you are to them…
Oh and the paper mustaches in the picture…well…that is another story!
This week’s Smile Video
As part of the ongoing series "Kindness 101," Steve Hartman and his kids are sharing stories built around themes of kindness and character and the people who've mastered both. His latest lesson is friendship.
#believe #stevehartman #smilevideos
What I am reading…
This week I read the book The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. This memoir, published in 2005, was also made into a movie in 2017, which I also watched on Netflix a few days ago.
The writing in this book is superb and her family’s story is heartbreaking at times, inspiring at other times…The Amazon description of the book is as follows: “The Glass Castle is a remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption, and a revelatory look into a family at once deeply dysfunctional and uniquely vibrant. When sober, Jeannette’s brilliant and charismatic father captured his children’s imagination, teaching them physics, geology, and how to embrace life fearlessly. But when he drank, he was dishonest and destructive. Her mother was a free spirit who abhorred the idea of domesticity and didn’t want the responsibility of raising a family.
The Walls children learned to take care of themselves. They fed, clothed, and protected one another, and eventually found their way to New York. Their parents followed them, choosing to be homeless even as their children prospered.
The Glass Castle is truly astonishing—a memoir permeated by the intense love of a peculiar but loyal family.”
I will have to be honest and say that this book was not my favorite. There were many graphic scenes, which I found disturbing and very comparable to another difficult memoir for me (also made into a movie) - Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt.
There were many times I found myself putting the book down and struggling with myself to decide whether I would finish it or not. Eventually, I did finish it and even though I didn’t really end up liking the book nor will I probably ever re-read again, I am grateful.
Why am I grateful? Well..I had the freedom to choose to read this book and the freedom to choose not to read it. That’s the beauty of our library system - all those books and all those choices…and we get to choose to read or not to read…
Interested in learning a little bit more about that freedom? For more information about the Library Bill of Rights by the American Library Association, go to https://www.ala.org/advocacy/intfreedom/librarybill
May is Mental Health Awareness Month
This month I would like to share information regarding mental health awareness.
At its worst, depression can be a frightening, debilitating condition. Millions of people around the world live with depression. Many of these individuals and their families are afraid to talk about their struggles, and don't know where to turn for help. However, depression is largely preventable and treatable. Recognizing depression and seeking help is the first and most critical towards recovery.
In collaboration with WHO to mark World Mental Health Day, writer and illustrator Matthew Johnstone tells the story of overcoming the "black dog of depression". More information on the book can be found here: http://matthewjohnstone.com.au/
This week’s TED Talk - The Science of Friendship
I have watched TED Talks for many years now. I love the wide variety of experiences and opinions TED Talks offer. Here is one I would like to share for this week:
In this heartwarming talk, science writer Lydia Denworth asks: What would happen if we made friendship the template of all our relationships? She discusses the biology and evolution of this connection between individuals. Are you living a life that prioritizes positive relationships?
Introducing…Wonder Woman
I want to introduce you to another one of my besties. Her name is Libby and we have known each other since high school. We reconnected on Facebook after not seeing each other for many years. When we talk on the phone, we complete each other’s sentences and find ourselves at times laughing so hard, our sides ache.
Since 2017, Libby has had multiple health challenges. Her type of cancer was so rare it was case #101 at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.
She is one of my inspirations and her Caring Bridge story demonstrates how she has overcome so many obstacles. Be prepared to be inspired.
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/libbywallace
Holistic Wellness Spotlight - exploring the mind/body connection
If it seems like friendships formed in adolescence are particularly special, that's because they are. Childhood, adolescent, and adult friendships all manifest differently in part because the brain works in different ways at those stages of life. During adolescence, there are changes in the way you value, understand, and connect to friends. Shannon Odell explores the neuroscience of friendship
Children’s Corner
Meet Bink and Gollie, two funny little girls — one tiny, one tall, and both love adventure. Setting out from their super-deluxe tree house and powered by plenty of peanut butter (for Bink) and pancakes (for Gollie), they share comical adventures... No matter where their roller skates take them, at the end of the day they will always be the very best of friends.
Quote of the week
Until next week. Please remember…Begin and end each day with a grateful heart…and always, always be kind….