Dear Dad
an ode to my father...
“Great fathers do three things: they provide, they nurture and they guide…”
It’s been over twenty years since I had a Father’s Day celebration with my Dad. He died in December of 2007 but due to his issues with Lewy Body Dementia, he was in a nursing home from the summer of 2005 until his death.
The man I knew and loved slowly disappeared before our eyes during those years. My mother, a pillar of strength, visited him on an almost daily basis and he always seemed to recognize her, even if sometimes he referred to her as “such a beautiful girl” instead of by her name...
As I look back on the memory of my last true Father’s Day with my Dad, I clearly remember giving him a VCR for their cabin up north. It was a “group gift” given by both my sister Colleen and myself and our husbands.
Dad got emotional about the gift, which I found so unusual. My Dad was not a person who showed emotions easily but he started to get that way as dementia slowly took over.
A little over a year later my son was born and, ironically just as he was entering my life, my father - at least the person I knew and loved - was leaving it.
But instead of focusing on the end, or the last, I would rather think more and more about the entirety of the life of this very special man.
My Dad was a provider… he was one of the hardest working people I ever knew. He worked a variety of jobs over his lifetime starting as a hired-hand for a local farmer and then moving on to working in a gravel pit. When my parents got married in 1948, he worked for Shurtleff's Dairy as a milk route delivery man (with the real bottles of milk and a delivery truck) and later on, he became an insurance agent for Metropolitan Insurance Company.
Along with his father, he owned and operated Joe's Tavern in Janesville, WI for several years and from the mid-1960's until his retirement, he worked as a farmer - running a sheep farm and then a dairy farm. When I think of him, I picture his hands…rough and calloused from all of the years of physical work…
My Dad was a nurturer…He made sure people were okay and if they weren’t, he helped them in whatever way he could.
My relationship with him is something I will always treasure. There are some people on this earth that you have a deep connection with. They complete your thoughts, understand your pain, share your joys and relieve your anxieties. They support you during the good times and the bad. My father was one of those people for me and for many others. I still miss our very long, very wonderful, conversations…
Finally, my Dad was an expert at guiding people…His advice, his view of the world, his experiences…they were all essential as he focused on helping people whenever he could. He loved reading and writing and he did crossword puzzles every day. He valued higher education and was so proud of all of the college graduates in his family.
He encouraged people, wanting the very best for others. His word was gold. When he promised you something, he delivered on that promise. He told the truth, even when it was difficult to hear.
He loved his family and his friends with all of his heart and that especially was evident in his marriage to my mother. They were a true team for 59 years.
Was he perfect? No, he was not - he was a human being with flaws and he made mistakes, like we all do in life. He could swear like a sailor and he had a short temper. You did not want to “get his Irish up”.
But when I think of him, I don’t focus on those things, just like I hope someday others will not focus on my shortcomings. We are all more than our human weaknesses and mistakes…so much more…
This Father’s Day I hope, if you still have your father here on this earth, you take a moment to give him a call, send him a text or even better, see him in person. Let him know what he means to you…
What I wouldn’t give to have the chance to do just that…just one more time…
What do you think?
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Tranquil Moments…
I asked my niece, Jennifer Malphy, if she could share some of her nature photos with my newsletter audience. Each week I will feature a new photo. Here is this week’s:
This week’s Smile video…
Steve Hartman's father George has been featured in several of his son's stories. He passed away last month at 92. Now Hartman is looking back in a tribute to his dad.
#believe #smilevideos #spreadkindnessandlove
And that’s a good thing…
High School graduation marks the end of a chapter and the beginning of new opportunities, but for one Denfeld High graduate, walking to accept his diploma carries even more meaning after more than eight decades.
Surrounded and comforted by his wife and children, Harlan is wheeled into the same historic auditorium he remembers from 1943. Then 18-year-old Harlan never made it to his graduation day, because just months before Uncle Sam came calling. He was drafted into World War II leaving his family and Duluth, the only home he’s ever known. The veteran was deployed for three years to Germany fighting on the front lines.
Now in his burgundy cap and gown, Harlon Olson is finally called to the stage to accept his high school diploma… 81 years later.
Cheers and a standing ovation from his community and his fellow Hunters, the class of 2024, celebrating the lifelong service of this WWII veteran, now officially a graduate…and that’s a good thing…
What I am watching…
This past week I watched the new documentary by Ron Howard about Jim Henson.
"Jim Henson Idea Man" takes us into the mind of this singular creative visionary, from his early years puppeteering on local television to the worldwide success of Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and beyond. Featuring unprecedented access to Jim's personal archives, Howard brings us a fascinating and insightful look at a complex man whose boundless imagination inspired the world.
I grew up loving Sesame Street and The Muppet Show and I thought this was a wonderful documentary that really showed you the man behind so many iconic characters. If you have the opportunity to view this on the Disney channel, I urge you to do so. You won’t be disappointed.
What I am reading…
This week I started reading Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott, which was a used copy that I purchased from a bookstore while on vacation this past week. I love Anne Lamott and I enjoyed reading this. It was a fun, quick read that was introspective in a refreshing way.
The Amazon description is as follows: “Readers of all ages have followed and cherished Anne Lamott’s funny and perceptive writing about her own faith through decades of trial and error. And in her new book, Help, Thanks, Wow, she has coalesced everything she knows about prayer to these fundamentals.
It is these three prayers – asking for assistance from a higher power, appreciating what we have that is good, and feeling awe at the world around us – that can get us through the day and can show us the way forward. In Help, Thanks, Wow, Lamott recounts how she came to these insights, explains what they mean to her and how they have helped, and explores how others have embraced these same ideas.
Insightful and honest as only Anne Lamott can be, Help, Thanks, Wow is the everyday faith book that new Lamott readers will love and longtime Lamott fans will treasure.”
This week’s TED Talk…
Dr. Anna Machin is an Oxford University-based evolutionary anthropologist, author, and broadcaster who has spent ten years researching the psychology, biology, and behaviour of new fathers. Here she explains why this new-found knowledge means that we need to change how we talk about dads, moving away from lazy stereotypes, to acknowledge their unique and special role in their children's lives and the power they hold to bring about real positive changes to inequality in our society.
Comedy Lift…
I love to share funny cartoons or memes with friends and family. Who doesn’t need to smile? Here’s this week’s Comedy Lift…
Music Moments
Music inspires me in many ways. Here’s I’m a Believer by The Monkeys...Enjoy!
Quote of the week
Until next week. Please remember…Begin and end each day with a grateful heart…and always, always be kind….
Shared this with my son ,Bill, he’s a great Dad!