Deep listening
taking time to be present for others..
“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help the person to empty their heart.” ~ Nhat Hanh
When I first read about deep listening, I was intrigued and I wondered if it really does work.
Being an introverted person I tend to listen much more than I speak. Some people find that annoying because silence can make people uneasy but some of the greatest conversations I've ever had occurred when I listened more and spoke less.
But I have found that there is a distinct difference between listening and deep listening.
Listening requires you to not interrupt the person who is speaking with you and to be polite and courteous, waiting patiently for your turn in the conversation.
Deep listening goes even further. It requires you to not only listen but to absorb, to feel, to empathize and to relate. When the moment is right, you interject but not with changing the direction of the conversation or stating your opinion in order to justify your own thoughts.
Instead you focus on every word you are listening to and engage with a combination of compassion and curiosity.
Deep listening involves analyzing what the person is saying in as non-judgmental a way as possible while trying to relate, as best you can, to their circumstances.
My mother was an expert at deep listening.
Over the years I have tried to work on improving my deep listening skills and I am by no means as good at it as my mother was but I have found that when you do purposely focus on the other person, they know it.
How? Because they can sense it…they feel it…and you literally can also. Emotions are what make us uniquely human and our openness to expressing our stories to others create better adjusted and happier individuals.
Just think for a moment and see if you can picture in your mind the people in your life who loved you into being.
As Fred Rogers said so eloquently, “Would you just take, along with me, ten seconds to think of the people who helped you become who you are…Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life.”
Ten seconds…close your eyes and think…
Who did you think of? My guess is that those people are deep listeners in your life.
They are people who know you well and love you unconditionally. And even if they are no longer here on earth, the memory of their love lives on, in you and is passed on, from you, every time you emulate their existence through your actions.
Deep listening takes practice but it is well worth it.
When we allow ourselves to open up, to not be afraid of being judged or ridiculed, we can experience some of our most profound moments.
So the next time you speak with someone try to listen, deeply and see what happens. I think you will be thankful that you did…
What do you think?
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Tranquil Moments…
I asked my niece, Jennifer Malphy, if she could share some of her nature photos with my newsletter audience. Each week I will feature a new photo. Here is this week’s:
This week’s Smile video…
As part of our ongoing series “Kindness 101,” Steve Hartman and his kids are sharing stories built around themes of kindness and character and the people who have mastered both. His latest lesson is listening.
#believe #smilevideos #spreadkindnessandlove
International Dot Day…
This is the 15th anniversary of International Dot Day,, a global celebration of creativity, courage and collaboration, begun when teacher Terry Shay introduced his classroom to Peter H. Reynolds’ book The Dot on September 15, 2009.
The Dot is the story of a caring teacher who dares a doubting student to trust in her own abilities by being brave enough to “make her mark”. What begins with a small dot on a piece of paper becomes a breakthrough in confidence and courage, igniting a journey of self-discovery and sharing, which has gone on to inspire countless children and adults around the globe.
Each year on International Dot Day – with the help of people just like you – the inspiration continues. What started as a story in the pages of a book is transforming teaching and learning around the world as people of all ages re-discover the power and potential of creativity in all they do.
For more information go to:
https://www.internationaldotday.org/
This week’s TED Talk
This talk is about the importance of listening to the people when they talk to you. Sometimes people don't need advice, they just need somebody to listen. Valeria Belden is currently in her 8th semester as a medical student, a self motivated lifelong career she has committed to in the search for knowledge to achieve her dreams and goals.
What I am reading…
This week I revisited one of my favorite read alouds, the picture book The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds.
The Amazon description is as follows, “With a simple, witty story and free-spirited illustrations, Peter H. Reynolds entices even the stubbornly uncreative among us to make a mark — and follow where it takes us.
Her teacher smiled. "Just make a mark and see where it takes you."
Art class is over, but Vashti is sitting glued to her chair in front of a blank piece of paper. The words of her teacher are a gentle invitation to express herself. But Vashti can’t draw - she’s no artist. To prove her point, Vashti jabs at a blank sheet of paper to make an unremarkable and angry mark. "There!" she says.
That one little dot marks the beginning of Vashti’s journey of surprise and self-discovery. That special moment is the core of Peter H. Reynolds’s delicate fable about the creative spirit in all of us.”
Podcast picks…
This week my podcast pick is Well-Read. “As librarians, books are kind of our thing. Listen in as we talk about what we're reading, book recommendations, and all sorts of reading-related fun.”
Mind/Body connections…
This meditation is beginner-friendly, comfortable for those new to meditation or deepening their practice. Often when we are on a healing journey, we think so much about the end result and don't give enough attention or energy to where we are right now. Especially with affirmations, we think it's pretty important to choose ones that affirm how you are doing in the present moment and give space for movement.
Comedy Lift…
I love to share funny cartoons or memes with friends and family. Who doesn’t need to smile? Here’s this week’s Comedy Lift…
Music Moments
Music inspires me in many ways. Sometimes you just have to get up and dance and this song does it for me. Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars Uptown Funk ...Enjoy!
Quote of the week
Until next week. Please remember…Begin and end each day with a grateful heart…and always, always be kind….