Facing Fear
and getting to the other side...
“Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ninety-seven steps.
It had been eleven years since I last climbed those steps and it didn’t seem as narrow nor as high last time. Funny how your memory plays tricks on you…
It was a sweltering, but beautiful summer day and I was getting to spend three precious days with my family on a vacation I had been looking forward to all summer.
These three days were circled on my calendar and were a personal goal of mine. August 19th through the 21st…short but sweet.
I don’t know about you but I still have a paper calendar that I hang up in our kitchen where I label birthdays of family members and friends on it, along with any opportunities to get to go on any excursions (near or far).
As I’ve said before, I am a planner, an organizer, a type A personality in many ways and my calendar reflects that. I had a plan…and I wanted everything to go as planned.
Family vacations have been the highlights of my summers and eleven years ago, we went to Door County, Wisconsin to the Cana Island Lighthouse with my brother Pat and sister-in-law Sandy. That was a really memorable vacation.
It was 2012 and my son Michael and I climbed to the top of that lighthouse and had our picture taken there. I have always loved that picture.
So naturally, when given the opportunity to take an updated version of one of my favorite pictures, I didn’t hesitate…until I listened to the guide explain the climbing process.
That was when it hit me…the start of a panic attack.
Maybe you know how it feels. I truly hope you don’t but in case you don’t, here’s what it is like for me…
It feels like someone is sitting on your chest…your heart is pounding so hard it pulsates in your ears…you start sweating (a lot)...your breathing gets shallow…you feel light-headed…you…get the picture…
So…I had two choices. Give in to my fears (of heights in this case) or…talk myself into doing this.
I looked at Michael and said, “I don’t think I can do this…”
“What? Mom…you got this…”
So..I climbed…ninety-seven steps (I bought a t-shirt later on from the gift shop as a consolation prize).
Thank God there were three areas along the way to stop, catch my breath, refocus and continue forward. The process was far from enjoyable but I made it…My niece Diane and her husband Michael went up with us and she took a selfie of my son Michael and I at the top.
The lesson I learned (besides the fact that, yes, I am truly afraid of heights)? Mind over matter and understanding that “this too shall pass.”…
Please note I am not trying to simplify panic attacks. They are complex and they are a reality I’ve dealt with for many years now, especially since the pandemic.
But I have worked really hard to deal with them when they appear and I am proud of my progress.
Cognitive therapy, the power of prayers, self-help books, meditations, all of those resources, along with the encouragement from those who love me, helped me climb up and down those stairs that day. Repeating mantras (for me it was from The Little Engine That Could) ”I think I can, I think I can. I think I can…”, helped make it not just a thought but a reality.
The result? Thinking I could do it, helped me in actually doing it. As the saying goes, "Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear and finding a way through it.”
What do you think?
My support comes from my subscribers and I really appreciate it. If you enjoy what the Kindness Boomerang newsletter provides, please feel free to share this link on your social media. Subscriptions can be either free or paid. It’s a simple process of sharing your email address. Thanks for your support!
For information about why I started this newsletter, please go to the about section.
Tranquil Moments…
I asked my niece, Jennifer Malphy, if she could share some of her nature photos with my newsletter audience. Each week I will feature a new photo. Here’s this week’s:
This week’s Smile Video
Jaylan Gray had to leave college to take care of his younger brother after their mother died. But thanks to CBS News viewers, he is now able to fulfill his dream. Steve Hartman has the story in "On the Road."
#believe #stevehartman #smilevideos
What I am reading…
I have read several books by Joel Osteen over the years and his sermons have inspired me. This week I pulled out my copy of You Are Stronger Than You Think and, as usual, I wasn’t disappointed.
The Amazon summary is as follows: “You were designed with the ability and inner strength to stretch to the next level, to stand strong and overcome the opposition, to learn new skills, to believe bigger, dream bigger, and to take on new challenges.
In You Are Stronger than You Think, #1 New York Times bestselling author Joel Osteen encourages you to stand firm when the difficulty is not turning around. When the pressure mounts, when you feel overwhelmed, when the struggle looks too big, or the goal is out of reach, you have to remember that is not your destiny. You are more powerful than you think. You need to see yourself the right way and realize what’s already inside you. You were made to outlast the competition, to go further than you thought you could, and live a life beyond what limits you.
As you read You Are Stronger than You Think, you will find the power to break the cycle of defeat, the courage to set a new standard for your family, the hope to conquer your fear, and the confidence to accomplish every dream. You will discover that you have more strength, more talent, more determination, and more endurance than you ever imagined. Nothing can hold you back…because You Are Stronger than You Think!.”
Sharing Family Favorites…
Last month I shared a tribute to my mother entitled Love Made Visible. This week I am sharing another one of her recipes from her cookbook.
Mind/Body Connections
A guided meditation for anxiety and worry - let go of anxiety, worry and overthinking and experience deep relaxation. 20-minutes of guided meditation practice (‘This Too Will Pass’ meditation) with Taoist Monk, meditation teacher and therapist, David James Lees.
Children’s Corner
Back in 1999, when I was an elementary school librarian, I started a project where I wrote letters (old fashioned, printed letters) to a variety of famous people. This was prior to the daily use of email and text messages. My questions were simple…
1) From your own life experiences, how has reading affected your life in a positive manner?
2) Was there any particular person or experience in your life that made you aware of the value of literature and the importance of reading?
I am going to share these letters and let you experience the joy many of my students (and myself) have gotten from their touching words - Here is this week’s:
Substack Selection
This week’s Substack selection is the newsletter - This Fibro Chick - “I’m just a woman living with fibromyalgia while managing a family and daily life.”
This Substack newsletter is informative and inspiring. It helps me to know I am not alone in my struggles with fibromyalgia. Check it out!
Music Moments
Music inspires me in many ways. Here’s one of my favorites:
Quote of the week
Until next week. Please remember…Begin and end each day with a grateful heart…and always, always be kind….