Life without filters

the blessings (and realities) of motherhood

May 10, 2025

"Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary — it's an act of infinite optimism." ~ Gilda Radner

photo of baby holding person's fingers — Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash

I came across a picture about a month ago when I was going through closets and doing some spring cleaning.

It was a photo taken by my late sister-in-law Carol, of my son Michael and I, sitting outside of a local Dairy Queen. I had gone over to her house for a visit and the three of us went for a walk and she treated us to an ice cream snack.

My son was almost two years old. He was sitting in a stroller with his mouth open, like a little baby bird, anticipating his mother’s next move…In this case, he was waiting for the next scoop of ice cream I was going to feed him.

I am smiling but in an exhausted sort of way…the way mothers of young children smile. My shoulders look slightly hunched and you can see the beginnings of gray hair, not as a result of motherhood, but more likely due to genetics. Something most people of Irish descent can relate to…

I am 38 years old in this picture, statistically an “advanced maternal age”, due to being over 35 when I became a mom.

Besides being a mother, which in itself is a full time job, I also worked 40 plus hours a week as an elementary school teacher and librarian. Perhaps, most notably, I was also dealing with the symptoms of chronic illness - the invisible illness that a trip to the Mayo Clinic would eventually diagnose as fibromyalgia.

I remember that day very well. Well…actually both days - the day I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and the day of the Dairy Queen picture ...The day of the diagnosis we will save for another time.

The day of the Dairy Queen picture was not the only time my late sister-in-law would reach out to me and give me a much needed reprieve. She, along with many other family members and friends, were very supportive during those early years of motherhood.

The saying “it takes a village” is very true.

Part of my village also included a local social program, entitled Birth to Three, which provided me with weekly visits by early childhood professionals named Janay and Jeanne. I will always be grateful for the resources and support they provided.

Looking at the photo I was also reminded that I was blessed at the time to not live in a world saturated by social media, where we live under the constant scrutiny and comparison of others, many times complete strangers, magnified by fake smiles and filtered photos…

These comparisons are not realistic and most of the time, they are not even helpful.

Life is more than an impression you give others online. Life is about supporting, encouraging and reminding others of their value. It is also about recognizing when people need to be heard and understood and reaching out to help them when they need it.

It is said that being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had.

This is my 21st year of celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom myself. But I also celebrate everyone, past and present, who have helped me along this journey…

Because it really does take a village…

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Tranquil Moments…

I asked my niece, Jennifer Malphy, if she could share some of her nature photos with my newsletter audience. Each week I will feature a new photo. Here is this week’s:

This week’s Smile video…

This is one of my all-time favorite “Smile” videos…Ever since Kylie Brown's parents brought home a duck named Snowflake, the two formed a close bond. Now, the two go everywhere together. Steve Hartman has their story on the road.

#believe #smilevideos #spreadkindnessandlove

Facebook memories…

Looking on the Photo booth on my old MacBook is like a time capsule treasure hunt...love this gem from June 2010.

What I am reading…

This week I reread the picture book The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. This was one of my favorite read alouds when I was a school librarian.

Here is the Amazon summary: “School is starting in the forest, but Chester Raccoon does not want to go. To help ease Chester's fears, Mrs. Raccoon shares a family secret called the Kissing Hand to give him the reassurance of her love any time his world feels a little scary.

Since its first publication in 1993, this heartwarming book has become a children's classic that has touched the lives of millions of children and their parents, especially at times of separation, whether starting school, entering daycare, or going to camp. It is widely used by kindergarten teachers on the first day of school. Stickers at the back will help children and their parents keep their Kissing Hand alive.”

A mother’s love…

Mother’s Day is also a time to remember. If you are going through this Mother’s Day without your Mom, please feel free to read my essay about my first experience with this. My mother…my hero…