Walking each other home

and celebrating the journey...

“When someone you love is gone, it may feel like they’ve left forever…but what if they haven’t? What if they live on…in the stories you share…in the lessons they taught you…and in the love they gave…Hold on to that. Their presence can guide you, even in their absence…”

Ice luminary and photo by my cousin, Chris.

This week I find myself with wandering thoughts and varied emotions, processing something that has never happened to me before…the passing of a sibling.

It seems quite unnatural and surreal. I struggle this week to put words to my feelings and I am not sure whether that is good or not.

I try to stay busy, focusing on my job when I can, spending my personal time playing Words with Friends on my phone, reading different books, watching television, going for walks…but the distractions eventually end and when I am alone with my thoughts, I remember. And it hurts.

But I realize that this is part of grief and I try to embrace it.

So I look at old family photographs. There are only a handful of them where all of my siblings and I are together and now those become even more of a treasure.

There are sixteen years between my brother Joe and myself. I was the baby of the family and I am blessed to have brothers and sisters that are more like parents than siblings. Instead of rivalries, I am blessed with guidance and love from all of them.

This week I find myself holding some of the wooden carvings my brother Joe created that adorn my bookshelves. I marvel at their beauty and I remember a man who didn’t just dream of becoming a successful artist but he made those dreams come true.

One of my brother’s beautiful carvings…

There are not many people who can say that…

I remember Joe’s smile and his great sense of humor… His hearty laugh and his ability to make just the perfect comment, filled with just the right combination of wit and charm.

I remember his love and his kindness and I realize that my parents are not the only family members I inherited this trait from…

I recall one specific memory of his strong arms holding me and lifting me up and down while I was swinging like a little monkey from them, squealing with laughter. I was probably four or five at the time and he was the most athletic person I knew and at that time he seemed to be the strongest man in the world.

I play music on my stereo and listen to songs from musicians he introduced me to and who have become some of my favorite artists. I play songs from the albums All Things Must Pass by George Harrison, Bob Dylan: Greatest Hits, A Night at the Opera by Queen, Revolver by The Beatles and Double Fantasy by John Lennon and Yoko Ono (but I skip the Yoko songs and smile when I do it, just as he would…)

All of the conversations…I remember those fondly. There is nothing like a “Connors Conversation” - politics, sports, current events…no topic was left off the table and I loved every one of those interactions.

My brother was also blessed with a wonderful wife of 50 years, who is like a sister to me. I admired their love and commitment to each other and their family.

And amongst all the reminiscing I stop and count my blessings for all of the people in my life who have reached out to check on me when they heard of Joe’s passing. At times like this, kind words and thoughtful gestures are so needed and so appreciated.

For in the end, as the saying goes, we are just walking each other home…We are all companions on life's journey....so as we travel together, we need to bring along kindness, compassion, empathy, acceptance, patience, a caring spirit, humor, laughter, and gratitude ...right?

And what better way is there to keep the memory of someone we love alive than by being the things you loved most about them…

What do you think?

My support comes from my subscribers and I really appreciate it. If you enjoy what the Kindness Boomerang newsletter provides, please feel free to share this link on your social media. Subscriptions can be either free or paid. It’s a simple process of sharing your email address. Thanks for your support!

For information about why I started this newsletter, please go to the about section.

Tranquil Moments…

I asked my niece, Jennifer Malphy, if she could share some of her nature photos with my newsletter audience. Each week I will feature a new photo. Here is this week’s:

Photo by Jennifer Malphy.

This week’s Smile video…

Before Robbie Gay was adopted, he was neglected and abused. Now that he's with his adopted family, he's determined to help senior dogs, because he can see himself in them. Steve Hartman has his story on the road.

#believe #smilevideos #spreadkindnessandlove

Poetry corner

What I am reading…

This week I started reading Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom.

Here is the Amazon summary: “In Have a Little Faith, Mitch Albom offers a beautifully written story of a remarkable eight-year journey between two worlds -- two men, two faiths, two communities -- that will inspire readers everywhere. Albom's first nonfiction book since Tuesdays with Morrie, Have a Little Faith begins with an unusual request: an eighty-two-year-old rabbi from Albom's old hometown asks him to deliver his eulogy.

Feeling unworthy, Albom insists on understanding the man better, which throws him back into a world of faith he'd left years ago. Meanwhile, closer to his current home, Albom becomes involved with a Detroit pastor -- a reformed drug dealer and convict -- who preaches to the poor and homeless in a decaying church with a hole in its roof.

Moving between their worlds, Christian and Jewish, African-American and white, impoverished and well-to-do, Albom observes how these very different men employ faith similarly in fighting for survival: the older, suburban rabbi embracing it as death approaches; the younger, inner-city pastor relying on it to keep himself and his church afloat.

As America struggles with hard times and people turn more to their beliefs, Albom and the two men of God explore issues that perplex modern man: how to endure when difficult things happen; what heaven is; intermarriage; forgiveness; doubting God; and the importance of faith in trying times. Although the texts, prayers, and histories are different, Albom begins to recognize a striking unity between the two worlds -- and indeed, between beliefs everywhere. In the end, as the rabbi nears death and a harsh winter threatens the pastor's wobbly church, Albom sadly fulfills the rabbi's last request and writes the eulogy. And he finally understands what both men had been teaching all along: the profound comfort of believing in something bigger than yourself.

Have a Little Faith is a book about a life's purpose; about losing belief and finding it again; about the divine spark inside us all. It is one man's journey, but it is everyone's story.”

Podcast picks...

Hands down the best podcast out there about the topic of dealing with grief is Cooper Anderson’s All There Is…If you haven’t checked it out, please do. It is inspiring, uplifting, reassuring…the list goes on and on…

Mind/Body connections…

In this grounding technique for anxiety, we explore how our posture affects our emotional state.

Comedy Lift…

I love to share funny cartoons or memes with friends and family. Who doesn’t need to smile? Here’s this week’s Comedy Lift…

Music Moments

Music inspires me in many ways. Here's John Lennon singing Nobody Told Me….Enjoy!

Quote of the week

Until next week. Please remember…Begin and end each day with a grateful heart…and always, always be kind….